Marissa Flaxbart

My Latest Twenty Thousand Hertz: "The Leaky Pipeline" is all about Women in Audio

My latest episode of Twenty Thousand Hertz is out, and it's all about Women in Audio -- two women in particular, Leslie Gaston-Bird and Elisabeth Löchen. It was an honor and a pleasure to share their stories!

In the late 80s, a small French company found a way to pair analog film with pristine digital audio. But getting their system into theaters would involve a long legal battle, hiding out in a Vegas bathroom, and a last-ditch meeting with a famous director. Their struggle is part of a larger narrative about the groundbreaking work of women in the field of professional audio. Featuring audio engineer Leslie Gaston-Bird and LC Concept co-founder Elisabeth Löchen. 

Limited Endeavor: Video Edition

Several months ago, I started a VERY silly Instagram project called Limited Endeavor. About once a week, I set up an artistically grandiose photograph of a weird limited edition snack (most often candy). My motivation was threefold:

(1) I'd heard the happiness advice that having a "quest" is a good for you
(2) I hold a lifelong interest in limited editions (or just new versions) of brand-name standbys, especially candy bars
(3) I possess an artistic sensibility steeped in irony

I've had one particular candy bar on my desk for a few weeks now, and it is so odd that the idea of just posting a photograph of it seemed a shame. I was VERY curious what was under the hood, so to speak, and wanted to share the unwrapping/first-taste journey with the world (or, you know, whoever happens to find their way to the video). I'm about to leave for England (like, I'm heading to the airport as soon as I hit "publish") so it was now or never.

For your viewing, questing, and maybe eating pleasure (?) may I present... the Payday: Flavor of Texas BBQ.

 

 

Twin Luxuries: Old Friends & Phone Calls

Since Friday, I’ve had the unexpected bonanza of three separate, entirely unrelated, and long-overdue conversations with people I’ve known for a very long time who live very far away from me. It’s got me thinking about time, energy, and how we spend both.

You know that feeling when your phone starts buzzing, and you think it’s a text message? But then it keeps buzzing, and you realize that you are being called -- actually CALLED? On the PHONE?! For most of us — more and more as our lives get busier and the ways we “ping” each other, as my programmer father puts it, become more and more numerous — that feeling is annoyance. Implicit in a phone call is a demand for your time, asking you to drop everything and engage or else miss your chance. 

But sometimes, you’re holding your phone in your hand, doing something frustrating or boring or brainless, and suddenly your screen is overtaken by a name and a picture of someone you weren’t expecting to hear from, someone you really want to talk to. And any annoyance you might feel at having your google search or your game of Two Dots interrupted is swept swiftly away by the pleasantness of the surprise. 

Our smart phones are amazing devices that allow us to do many things at once…and a lot of those things are not particularly important or meaningful or life-enriching. When you’re caught up in a busy day of doing a thousand things, ten-at-a-time, the “killer app” might actually be the original app. At the end of the day, perhaps the most amazing thing your phone can do is…to ring. To be a phone, this impossible invention that now allows us to connect to anyone on earth, anywhere. It doesn’t matter if you’re at home, or at work, or if you never left a forwarding number, your phone can ring and you can be reached. And sure, that’s annoying when it’s a telemarketer, or someone you’re trying to avoid, or the Red Cross begging you for more precious blood. You don’t have to take those calls. Sometimes it’s even annoying when it’s someone you really love and miss, because it forces you to stop and make space in your day for a real, meaningful conversation. 

Isn’t it funny how we often need to be “forced” to give ourselves what we really need?  There are few luxuries in this life as rich as a conversation with someone you know so well that, without even meaning to, you seem to skip the “catch-up” conversation and go straight to making each other laugh. Someone with whom you can zoom past pleasantries and straight into what’s really up with you. How miraculous that such a conversation is always a button's press away. How bizarre that we press that button so rarely.

Conversation Between Me, Two Robots, and a Human: An Approximate Transcript

Ring ring...

ROBOT
Thank you for calling the Apple Store Glendale Galleria!...
I'm an automated system that can handle complete sentences. How may I help you today?

ME
Hi! I'm following up on a Genius Bar repair!

ROBOT
Great. I'll transfer your call to AppleCare Technical Support!

ME
No, not AppleCare...crap.

ME hangs up. Redials.

ROBOT
Thank you for calling the Apple Store Glendale Galleria!...I'm an automated system that can handle complete sentences. How may I help you today?

ME
I'd like to speak to someone at the Genius Bar.

ROBOT
Great. I'll transfer your call to AppleCare Technical support

ME sighs heavily, having failed to outsmart the robots protecting the humans of the Glendale Galleria Genius Bar from the wrath of her phone inquiry.

APPLECARE ROBOT
Hi! Thank you for calling AppleCare technical support! Before we get started, tell me what product you're calling about.

ME
I'm not calling about a product. I just need to check in on my Genius Bar repair.

APPLECARE ROBOT
Okay, "Messages." Is that right?

ME
No. NO!

APPLECARE ROBOT
...okay, "Notes." Is that right?

Me thinks to herself "WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE BE CALLING APPLECARE TO TALK ABOUT THE 'NOTES' APP?? What is there to support? You open it, you type!" But once again she realizes she is being forced by the robots to play along.

ME
NO.

APPLECARE ROBOT
ok. what product are you calling about?

ME
MacBook.

APPLECARE ROBOT
okay. I see here that you purchased a MacBook in June of 2007. Is that the MacBook you're calling about?

ME (in a spirit of WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK)
NO!

APPLECARE ROBOT
Ok. Say "MacBook Pro," "MacBook Air," or –

ME
MACBOOK AIR

APPLECARE ROBOT
Ok. Before we can continue, you'll need your serial number.

ME  
I don't have my serial number.

APPLECARE ROBOT (willfully ignoring her)
You can find you serial number by going to the apple menu in the upper left hand corner, then clicking "about this Mac," or...

Me desperately wants to tell AppleCare Robot "MY COMPUTER IS AT THE goddamn GENIUS BAR , at the store I called! That is why the fuck I am calling you right now!" But instead... 

ME
I don't have it.

APPLECARE ROBOT
If you need more time to find your serial number, just say, "Hold on."

ME
I. DONT. HAVE IT.

APPLECARE ROBOT
Without your serial number, the AppleCare technician won't be able to identify your machine. There may be a charge for technical service given over the phone. Should I wait while you find it, or continue?

ME
CONTINUE!

APPLECARE ROBOT
Ok. I'll connect you to a technical advisor now.

Ring ring...

DAVID
Thank you for calling AppleCare. This is David. May I have your name?

ME
MYNAMEISMARISSAFLAXBARTBUTIDON'TNEEDTOSPEAKWITHAPPLECAREI'MJUSTTRYINGTOREACHTHEGENIUSBARATTHEGLENDALEGALLERIAINGLENDALECALIFORNIABECSUSETHEYHAVEHADMYCOMPUTERSINCEFRIDAY,THEYWERESUPPOSEDTOCALLMEMONDAYANDNOWITSWEDNESDAYANDIJUSTWANTTOKNOWWHATTHEHELLISHAPPENINGWITHMYCOMPUTER

DAVID
...

Me wonders if David has hung up because he doesn't get paid enough to clean up these damn dirty robots' messes.

DAVID (with no apparent intended irony)
Ok, well thank you for your patience. I can try and get in touch with the Genius Bar at...did you say the Glendale Galleria?

ME
YES. Thank you David. I know it's not your fault, but there was no way for me to say the words "GeniusBar" to the first robot without getting sent through to AppleCare! I just want a status update on my laptop!

DAVID
No problem. Can I have your repair number?

Me thinks about her work authorization form, at home in her bedroom. Today, she realizes, the robots won. But there will be another phone call. And when the time for that call comes, she'll be ready.

EPILOGUE:
Me will spend what feels like ten minutes, but is probably only five minutes, on hold. David will check in twice. She will remember after the first hold period that she has an email containing the repair number. Ultimately, she will be told of her computer "they're still working on it, they'll call you when it's ready." She will never speak directly to anyone at the Genius Bar.

Good Stock Market News? Celebrate with an AAPLtini

I thought about calling this post "Marissa's Tips for Living the Dream: Celebrate Any Damn Thing," but that just didn't seem informational enought.

Today, as some of you are sure to be aware, Apple stock (aka AAPL) passed 600 and Apple announced they'd begin paying out quarterly dividends. This is kind of bittersweet news for me (I had a tiny bit of the stock once, but had to sell it to survive my year of joblessness), but my dad was pretty psyched. In fact, he decided he had to celebrate by creating a cocktail. 

And it's good.

Here's the recipe

AAPLtini

2 oz vodka

1 oz Goldschlager

3-4 oz Martinelli's, chilled

Combine vodka and Goldschlager in a shaker (ice optional). Strain into a martini glass and top with Martinelli's. Sit back and think about how you bought Apple stock in the 1980s when people thought the company was going down the tubes. Alternately, stare blankly into the glass, enjoying the pretty gold color and the bubbles.

Said the drink's brilliant inventor, "We'll enjoy it for today. The stock's been going up so fast, something's gotta...[trails off]."

Genius, master chef, goofball, pessimist. That's my dad. 

Fun with Percolator

I recently found out about this fascinating, albeit somewhat pointless, iPhone app called Percolator. Basically, it's an adjustable filter for photos that turns them into beautiful dots of color. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I'm guessing it has something to do with pixels.

I made a few Percolator images that I'm using as iPhone wallpaper, and I thought I'd share them here; I think they're pretty neat. See if you can guess what the original picture was!

 

 

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Wherein I Am Victorious Over the DirectTV Installers

Today I got DirectTV. Our high-rise building is switching en masse, and I'm actually pretty excited about it, mostly because it will bring me HBO Go and Adult Swim Gold.

All went smoothly except for one thing: the installer took one look at my Airport Time Capsule and told me I might have to get a new router, or at the very least call Apple, which could take a few hours. Another installer seconded the opinion, saying that the Apple AirPorts didn't work well with DirectTV. I wanted to ask sardonically if DirectTV supplied their own special version of the Internet that was somehow unlike the regular internet and thus confusing to lowly ethernet ports, but instead I told him I wasn't worried about it. Besides, they'd already mentioned that plugging an ethernet cable directly into their box from a computer would work. But I digress. Now for the good part.

Actual time to solve internet on problem on my own? Approx. 7 minutes. I'm sending this post to you wirelessly through my Apple Time Capsule right now. Since I was prepared for a hassle, it was no big deal: I restarted everything, ran the simple diagnostics on my Macs, and Sweet Victory was, and is, mine. And you'd better believe I went out in the hall and told him that I got it to work. I was humble about it. I even explained how I did it, and mentioned that I didn't really think it was his job to know how to deal with the Apple stuff. Which is true. But the ironic thing is, the Apple stuff is probably WAY easier to understand than any of the other technology these guys have to deal with on a daily basis. 

At any rate, it's nice to know my five years as an Apple employee weren't wasted. :)

The Evolution of Aww: An Auto-correct Progression

Auto-correct on the iPhone is actually pretty great. It's based on what letters are near the letter you (in error, perhaps) actually typed, and it's a nice time saver. Except when it's wrong. Like, say you're trying to express the extreme cuteness of something you've read on twitter. And you really want to make a statement.

Observe:

Awwwwwww. Sweetest.

What gems are you wasting on Twitter?

I like Twitter a lot. It's not love, but it's a good thing we've got going, and I think we understand each other. But sometimes I wonder if Twitter is taking advantage of me.

I don't mean the company, Twitter, or even the application (I use Tweetie, which works very well for my multiple accounts, though the iPhone version is far superior to the desktop app). But my use of Twitter has changed my brain a bit. When I have a good idea, or an interesting thought, I tend to sum it up to myself in a Twitter-appropriate sentence or two. This is especially odd since I use the medium for mostly social purposes; who am I trying to impress?

The answer, I guess, is Posterity. And Myself.

A great tweet is a thing of beauty, I'll admit. When a 139-character movie review of mine was published in the Red Eye last month, I was especially proud of how much more insightful and efficient it was than the rest of those printed. The eloquence! The concision! It was a proud moment. Maybe a little too proud.

If I comb through these little messages, I find a lot of thoughts that might have warranted a few more than 140 characters. Here on my blog (or on one of my other blogs!) I have the room to do that, and I really enjoy doing so. But once a thought has turned into a tweet, I typically consider it "published." Out there in the ether. Finished.

This spring, I'm going to try and rework my deal with Twitter. Instead of working against me, those tweets can be like a little notebook of story stubs to pore over and elaborate here on the blog. It will be like a second honeymoon for Twitter and me.

I promise not to let things get too mushy.

Oscar talk on CPX

I've been posting up a storm today on the topic of Oscars 2010, over at my movie blog Cineplexus. I've got links to all the movies I've reviewed over the past year that are nominated for Oscars. If you want a list of nominees, check out Oscars.com. If you want a list of my thoughts on the nominated movies that I happen to have seen, there's nowhere to look but Cineplexus. :)

As a side note, I am especially bummed about one movie that missed the Oscar nom cut: 500 Days of Summer. At the very least, I feel it deserved a nomination for Best Original Screenplay. Sigh. At least the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (responsible for Golden Globe noms) saw things my way. Sort of.