I finally watched this week's big Madonna episode of Glee, and I think it shed some light on why I often put off watching the show for a few days, letting it simmer on my DVR. Fact is, this show is torture for me – not because I don't like it, but because I love it so freaking much. I love the characters, I love the drama, but mostly I love the singing and dancing. And it hurts so good to have to sit there on the sofa, still, just watching it.
It's a lot like the pain I often experience watching a play. If I'm really loving it, I want to be up on stage performing it myself. If it's terrible, I can't help but think how I might have tackled those lines. It's a problem.
This week's Glee brought to light yet another mental sickness on my part: I want to be Rachel. Not only does she get to star in nearly every number, but now she's got two amazing guys after her. And yes, I count both the dumb-but-precious Finn and the musical-obsessed Jesse as amazing. I do it because the show told me to, and I'm helpless in the face of its demands.